There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize