oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
