I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
