I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
pop tarts are not kleenex
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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