what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
