i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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