what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
