I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
