Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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