Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
only if we run a train.
done.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
