I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
