Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
