so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
