Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
