Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
