I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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