She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
