I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
