Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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