Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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