Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm passing your future prison.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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