Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
So. Much. Porn.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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