He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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