i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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