If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I will be naked everywhere
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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