From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
