So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
