I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize