We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
