wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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