just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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