She went from zero to smokin in five shots
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
