U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
