i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
