Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
