Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize