he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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