remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
