and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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