New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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