i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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