And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
