We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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