I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
