I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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