he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
