Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
