Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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