she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
