I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
