Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
