1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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