I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
