i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
