She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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