I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
