And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
