the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
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