every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
