Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
