Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
