dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
